Letter to My Younger Self

Advice column written for Migrant Maharani's second zine, “A Letter to My Younger Self”

It’s no secret that our generation is facing a friendship epidemic. The adult-coffee-catch-up that needs to be scheduled months in advance has become a meme for a reason. As a society, we are more connected than ever, yet genuine social interactions are becoming increasingly rare.

Being under the constant grind of late-stage capitalism got me reflecting on the halcyon days of my youth in Kirikiriroa. The hours and hours of free time we had, particularly in the summer. When I finally made some friends as depraved as me - these hours were mostly wiled away walking around (none of us could drive) talking to strangers on Omegle and reading BL/Smut. Innocent, simpler times. We couldn’t wait to escape our mundane lives, get jobs, money and cars so we could live it up like some boss bitches. 

I was determined, full of ambition - so I went off into The Big Smoke to get a degree in communications. In those long days of my youth - never seeing what I wanted to see in media is one of the things which pushed me into the film industry and eventually to becoming a writer. And it wasn’t just mainstream media that was a letdown - it was the niche internet forums and subreddits too - my friends and I suffered endlessly at the hands of stories which never quite scratched the particular chaotic itch we had to see brown women doing crazy shit - with a good plot, you know?

So I ground away in the industry for years till eventually, I managed to birth Basmati Bitch and Give Me Babies (a cool martial arts film now on TVNZ+ if you want to check it out). Finally - I even managed to gain some sort of financial stability as a creative. Unfortunately, by then, all my friends had moved to different corners of the world. 

It’s a shame we don’t realise we’re in the good old days till they are gone - ah, the folly of youth. You see, my little Maharani’s, we may have gotten our modicum of freedom in adulthood - but we lost the thing that is the real luxury commodity in today's world - time. The freedom to laze about and be spontaneously creative with people you love. It’s no wonder cottage core and all that shit is trending on TikTok now.

So I find myself, looking to form a community I can have that creative, unstructured time with as an adult... With other adults who need to schedule things months in advance. An oxymoron. And impossible task. Or is it? If you’re in the same position as me or still in school and bored - I have the solution. 

It’s time to stop being depressed peasants in the mundane real world and time to start being depressed heroes in the realms of the fantastical. Yes, I am talking about embracing the brain-stimulating, creatively fulfilling thrilling escapism that is tabletop role-playing games (TTRPGs).

You thought I was going to give you some spiritual advice? Fuck that. I am here to tell you to carve out a girl's night to slay some dragons, bitch! Yeah, goddamn Dungeons & Dragons is the closest you’re gonna get to therapy till you can afford therapy! Playing DnD, I have laughed, cried, felt heroic and had genuine cathartic character development (in and out of game). Most importantly, every game has left me sizzling with a sense of connection and gratitude for the power of shared creativity. 

Look, you’re never going to find the perfect media text, with the perfect character to project onto, in the exact world you want to be in with your favourite kinks mixed in. Not everyone has got time to become a writer (I seriously don’t recommend it, tbh). So my advice? Just do it now! You don’t need a camera, laptop, degree, funding or permission! Heck, you don’t even need dice (hello Google Dice) - You just need your imagination, some friends (or the desire to make some) and a willingness to learn some basic rules.

With these ingredients, you can create any world, be any character and create your perfect adventure - be that medieval, sci-fi, dystopian or even a coming-of-age rom-com. The world of TTRPGs is endless because YOU are the Rani of your domain. And let me tell you - it is more thrilling than any blockbuster or videogame because you’re literally IN the story! You are the heroes, and the ups and downs of the theatre of the mind are a powerful drug, let me tell you. 

Now, there are many ways to get into TTRPGs - you could ask an experienced player to guide you through your first game or join a group - there are plenty of communities online where you can meet people and get help (queer and WOC-friendly ones!) or you can muster up a little courage and give Dungeon Mastering a shot! 

1. You may want to watch Stranger Things, Dumplings and Dragons (a podcast with me - badly - playing DnD) or Critical Role to get an idea of what DnD is and some inspiration. 

2. Practically speaking, you’re going to need a private space, and an agreed-upon time - at least a few hours to get through a short adventure - so organise months in advance. I know, ironically similar to the dreaded coffee-catch-up but stay with me here. 

3. Look up "how to run a DnD one shot" on Reddit, Pointy Hat has some great videos on YouTube or you can watch this literal step-by-step video on the topic. This will give you all the info you need for your first adventure. 

4. Gather your party - snacks are essential. Pencil, paper and Google Dice help too. 

5. Now.. Just… Do it. Yes, really - just start! You will be surprised how easy it is to spin a narrative with other people once you get through the first few awkward moments. It's almost like humans have been sitting around telling stories for millennia... Hmm anyway-

With this, you are going to create some epic memories with your mates - from the comfort of your homes all within a few manageable hours you can block out in your busy schedules. The thrill of a perfect character arc, triumphing together over evil - or choosing to be evil! 

It’s all in your hands. Go forth and adventure, my little Rani’s.